This is not a drill. It is really happening. You have five older computers each with Windows XP SP2 installed as the operating system. The processors are Pentium III or IV and run at 500MHz to 1.6GHz. The hard drives range from 9.3 to 40GB. However, the drive sizes do not match the speeds. That is, a slow processor has a large drive and so forth. You want to switch hard drives to put the largest drive in the fastest machine and the smallest in the slowest. You get the idea.
It takes only a few minutes to remove and replace a hard drive except of course, if the mounting hardware is different. This was the case in one machine which used a carrier tray instead of allowing you to attach the drive directly to the frame. So that takes ten or fifteen minutes. That should be the end of the story but it is merely the beginning of an odyssey.
The usual result of inserting an XP drive in a different machine is a message consisting of a paragraph or so that stays on the screen for a second before the machine restarts. This speed reading challenge repeats itself, perhaps indefinitely. I have not had the patience to let it go more than three times. This comedy also occurs during cloning processes (using Symantec’s Ghost) if there are more than slight differences in hardware.
A second scenario is that the drive boots the operating system and you are informed that the hardware varies too much from the image on the disk so you will have to reauthenticate your copy of XP. That isn’t so bad except when you get the notice that the key you typed in has been used (up) and so you need another one. I have another key but will not waste a license so we go to the “repair” XP option.
I’ve installed and reinstalled XP more times than I care to count and have learned some things not to do in the process. Don’t opt for “Repair” on the first screen. You don’t have the correct backup disk since the drive isn’t in its original machine. Don’t select the “Repair” option the second time it’s presented because no amount of time you spend in the console mode will fix the mismatched hardware problem.
After the three or four minutes required to get to the “discovery” phase you may then opt to repair the Windows directory the installer discovered. This is actually a complete installation which saves applications and registry information. It’s better than nothing, I guess. You now get the 39 minute countdown to end of install. It will take that long only if you do NOT let the installer try to connect to a network. If you do that the machine will hang and you’ll have to push the reset button (a rare item these days) or hold the power button in until the machine shuts down. After restarting you are told the installation is resuming and are back to the 39 minute countdown. So on the network question tell the “Wizard” to connect you to a workgroup instead. It will tell you in a minute or so that it can’t do that but at least it will then go on to the 29 minute countdown and from there to the end of the “repair that is really an install” process. Somewhere along the line you have to type in a software key. I tried to use the one that was used up but the Wiz rejected it. Fortunately, I have a multiple license whose key worked.
You are now close to an hour into the mission and can boot to XP as the machine administrator. That ID along with the applications you installed are as you had them on the previous machine. BUT, you are now running the original XP and have to install Service Pack 2 for starters. On older (slower) machines this takes up to 45 minutes. I start the update from a CD and go on to other business.
Once you have the system up to SP2 you now are ready to begin the Windows Update phase of the mission. First you have to install the “new” loader version which you had on the previous incarnation of the disk but which got wiped during the “repair.” Once that’s installed you suffer the “Windows Genuine Advantage Validation Tool” which is marketing bullshit for “We want to make sure you haven’t stolen this copy of XP.” Once you have been acquitted of piracy you can now download the 23 or so security updates that followed the release of SP2.
This security shit is a total joke. During the installation you’re informed that XP is the “most secure Windows ever.” That may be true but it was followed by two service packs of security updates and then more security updates monthly and sometimes more frequently for really, really, really necessary “critical” updates. Face it folks, these are not updates. They are patches to correct mistakes or omissions in the original code. I wonder how often you can patch a tire and still have a tire.
Finally, after an hour or two you can add the machine to the network. Of course, you can’t use the original name unless you’ve wiped it from the Active Directory but that’s a minor issue. And just think, you only have to repeat this idiocy four more times. Nearly an 8 hour working day to switch drives on 5 older computers. Can’t even outsource the job to Bangladesh.
XP is a disposable operating system. Microsoft will not have to announce its end of life because it is tied to the life of the system disk it was installed on. Once that needs replacement XP is toast. And do not doubt that Vista will be more of the same (or worse?).
If somehow the license key I used for “repair” is recorded as the machine’s official XP identity I will write another entry under “Dear Microsoft, I am not a thief, you bloodsucking sack of shit.”